I have opted to remain anonymous to safeguard my identity from the foolishness. Yesterday evening, I felt hungry and opted to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, added the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I realized something was wrong. A awful burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to add water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to throw away the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a globule of blackened noodles which had become some sort of peculiar crystalline substance unknown to humanity. I had a change of mind.