I have opted to keep my identity hidden to safeguard my identity from the foolishness. Last night, I became hungry and chose to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, added the seasoning and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a short while or two, I noticed something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…lo and behold…I had failed to include water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a clump of blackened noodles which had become some sort of strange crystalline substance never before seen. I had a change of mind.