So my health teacher is obsessed with exercise. She has completed ironman triathlons and mentions going to the YMCA at 5:00am. Yeah, she’s crazy. We have this project where we have to choose a health goal to pursue for a month. Things like drinking water or doing squats. To stay motivated, we talked about physical rewards. She decided to tell us about her sporting goods fetish, where she goes into a store and buys a bunch of gear like they were books. During this, she suddenly says, “I really like Dick’s”. Realizing what she just said, she turned red and in a more quiet voice goes, “please don’t tell your parents.”