I have chosen to remain anonymous to safeguard my identity from the embarrassment. Yesterday evening, I felt hungry and chose to make some ramen. I took out the various packets from the bowl, put in the flavor and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to add water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a mass of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of strange crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of heart.