I have chosen to remain anonymous to protect my identity from the ridicule. The previous night, I felt hungry and decided to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, added the spice mix and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I realized something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I opened the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had failed to add water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a mass of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of bizarre crystalline substance unknown to humanity. I had a change of heart.