When I was about 5 or 6, my mom and stepdad bought my sister and I bikes for Easter. After church, they asked, “Do you want to learn how to ride them?” And I was like, “Duh??”. Once I got the hang of it, I was riding around in circles, showing off. My mom told me to “say cheese,” so I glanced at her for a second, and I FUCKING CRASHED INTO A CAR AT FULL SPEED. It was a parked car that I didn’t even see, so I just rammed into it, fell off my bike, and started crying, thinking, “this must be how bugs feel”. Like they’re flying around living life and then SPLAT. Looking back, that was my first existential crisis.