I have chosen to stay anonymous to protect my identity from the ridicule. Last night, I felt hungry and chose to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, included the spice mix and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I opened the door to my microwave and…behold…I had forgotten to put in water. There was some smoke rising from the bowl. Not wanting to throw away the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which filled the air with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then placed the bowl again in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a clump of blackened noodles which had transformed into some sort of strange crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a second thoughts.