I have opted to remain anonymous to shield my identity from the ridicule. Last night, I felt hungry and chose to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, added the seasoning and dried vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I noticed something was wrong. A awful burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to put in water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then put the bowl back in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I discovered a globule of blackened noodles which had become some sort of bizarre crystalline substance unknown to humanity. I had a change of mind.