I have opted to keep my identity hidden to shield my identity from the ridicule. Yesterday evening, I felt hungry and chose to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, added the flavor and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I noticed something was wrong. A horrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had failed to put in water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and put in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then placed the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a globule of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of strange crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of mind.