I have opted to stay anonymous to protect my identity from the ridicule. The previous night, I felt hungry and opted to make some ramen. I removed the various packets from the bowl, put in the flavor and veggies, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I realized something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…behold…I had failed to include water. There was some smoke coming from the bowl. Not wanting to throw away the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl back in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a clump of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of strange crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of heart.