I have chosen to stay anonymous to shield my identity from the embarrassment. Yesterday evening, I got hungry and decided to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, added the spice mix and veggies, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a sixty seconds or two, I understood something was wrong. A awful burning smell had saturated my kitchen. I swung open the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had failed to add water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and poured in water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a clump of blackened noodles which had transformed into some sort of bizarre crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of mind.