I have decided to stay anonymous to protect my identity from the embarrassment. Yesterday evening, I felt hungry and chose to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, included the flavor and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a short while or two, I understood something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had filled my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…behold…I had neglected to include water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to discard the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which filled the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I encountered a mass of blackened noodles which had transformed into some sort of peculiar crystalline substance never before seen. I had a change of mind.