Okay, so this happened in fourth grade, and I was in this class with all these dumbass kids. Let me give you some background: My parents usually pack me fruit for a snack, but on this particular day they packed me like half of the leftover Pringles from the day before, you know, in that tubular container. I was thrilled because I LOVE PRINGLES. But when recess came, and I was ready to take MY Pringles and eat them outside, they weren’t in my bag. I started scoping the area, trying to find my Pringles. I called the teacher over; she tried to find them but had no luck either. Then it hits me—What if MOIRA STOLE THEM? Moira was this chubby girl in my class that literally ALWAYS wore this purple princess dress that should be classified as a bad Halloween costume (seriously) and was known for being a bitch. Being a judgmental 9-10 year old, I immediately concluded that she must’ve taken my damn Pringles. I just tell my teacher, “Well too bad, I’ll just go out for recess now. It was just PRINGLES.” Being a little angel. So I storm out of the classroom and begin looking for Moira. I’m talking checking areas, finding witnesses, wasting my time. After about 10 minutes, I spot a group of kids gathered at the side of one of the portable classrooms. I hurry over to see what’s going on. The kids were eating Pringles. Barbecue-flavored Pringles. MY PRINGLES. I lose it, smacking the Pringles out of their hands and pulling kids away from the main source. And in the middle of all the kids, sat a smug looking MOIRA with my PRINGLES. I look all mad and rip the BLOODY EMPTY CONTAINER OF PRINGLES OUT OF THE DAMN BITCH’S FILTHY HANDS. By now, even clueless Moira knows she’s in trouble. I would’ve at least punched her, but a supervisor saw us and ran over. Moira was forced to apologize and I was forced to accept her damn apology. I never got to eat my Pringles. To this day, I’m certain she fears my cold, dead hands, ready to tear her lying face off.