I have decided to remain anonymous to safeguard my identity from the embarrassment. Yesterday evening, I felt hungry and opted to make some ramen. I extracted the various packets from the bowl, put in the spice mix and vegetables, then put the bowl in the microwave. After about a minute or two, I understood something was wrong. A terrible burning smell had permeated my kitchen. I unlatched the door to my microwave and…low and behold…I had neglected to put in water. There was some smoke emanating from the bowl. Not wanting to waste the ramen, I went to the sink and added water, which engulfed the room with acrid smoke for several seconds. I then returned the bowl once more in the microwave and cooked it for two more minutes before attempting to eat it. Well…It went okay for a little while, until I found a globule of blackened noodles which had turned into some sort of strange crystalline substance yet seen in nature by humankind. I had a change of mind.